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Extinction Rebellion Empathy Cafes
Participant Testimonials of Taking Part in an Empathy Circle.
"For me I think it's really important to emphasis the beauty and simplicity of this particular kind of Empathy Circle process. There are many ways we can hold sharing or Empathy Circles, and many names we can give them. Some require a particular kind of training. What's great about this one, is that it doesn't!"
"The process was definitely more useful than I thought it would be. The non-judgement aspect was really useful. The other thing I'd like to pick up from, is what Skeena said. It's really clear that this way of proceeding can be a way of clarifying thinking. Some of my thoughts, around what we're trying to do, have really improved in the course of the last two hours. That's really interesting you know. That's really significant because that is something, if you will, that's a way you could sort of sell this to people who are quite skeptical. Who are, sort of, rationally cognitive. They might think, okay yeah it might be used psycho therapeutically to be emphasized with but you know I've got important thinking to do. What became clear to me increasingly over the course of the time we spent together, is actually this is a real way to clarify thinking. So I'm grateful for that. " ― Rupert Read
"The process was definitely more useful than I thought it would be. The non-judgement aspect was really useful....What became clear to me increasingly over the course of the time we spent together, is actually this is a real way to clarify thinking."
― Rupert Read
"I'm really grateful for experiencing this, as a process, but just also experiencing hearing myself and that being reflected back to me.
Clarifying my thinking through that. It's been very very useful and I'm really really grateful.
My mind is going to how can we use this in XR. Marty, you touched on if some if a political circle could model an Empathy Circle and that would have some power. It would make a statement. I'm thinking about things like that.
Also I'm thinking about how do we use Empathy Circles to create the new story and the vision? Our pamphlet isn't THE Story and THE Vision. It's a question mark around how we create it and what ingredients are in that story or might be in that story.
The reason we haven't the vision team has not written a definitive vision statement is because there isn't one vision. I think Empathy Circles could be useful in that co-creating of a story. In listening to each other's stories and yeah getting clearer about what our story is. Thank You" ― Skeena Rathor
"I'm thinking about how do we use Empathy Circles to create the new story and the vision? Our pamphlet isn't 'The Story' and 'The Vision'. It's a question mark around how we create it and what ingredients are in that story or might be in that story... I think Empathy Circles could be useful in that co-creating of a story. "
― Skeena Rathor
What I wanted to share is, I know it's like I'm lobbying for something. But the Empathy Circle method that you might have done online and experienced and if not, there's plenty of opportunities. It's so systemic, this change that we're trying to do. Empathy Circles can very well be used for conflict resolution. I've seen them being used and it's much simpler. Anyone can facilitate it like with some experience, but you don't need to be as trained, as with restorative circles.
But at the same time, from the get-go, if a new group is forming, if from the get-go they did Empathy Circles. That means that when conflict arises, they already have that in both language and they can use it.
Now we started think, can we do actions around Empathy Circles, where we are actually disrupting or whichever by engaging people in dialogues. So that's a discussion that is starting.
― Marta Neto
One of the major things with this empathy circles is that it's bringing me in touch with other like-minded people. So far, there's not really needing to be any kind of conflict resolution. I mean we're all here for similar reasons.
I think it's a good practice to hear, to listen, to develop your listening skills, and to hear and to have your thoughts and your feelings reflected back at you.
It's interesting to see how, as you go around the circle, there's some sort of rhythm and pattern that's developed. If you're able to go in a small group, if you're able to go through a few different times, a certain theme starts to emerge and some sort of overlap starts to happen, as more and more people throw their ideas into the pot.
So it's a core skill and it will be useful in whatever actions that we do moving forward.
"I think it's a good practice to hear, to listen, to develop your listening skills, and to hear and to have your thoughts and your feelings reflected back at you. "
― Dan Feldman
"So it's a core skill and it will be useful in whatever actions that we do moving forward. "
― Dan Feldman
In today's discussion I was surprised to find myself filtering my sentences or ideas. I think today I really realized, well people are listening. And that feeling of, like okay, so in my mind remembering that 'whatever I say, will be heard at least by one person'.
That's a great great process of pausing and thinking like. 'do I really need to say this?', 'do I really want to say this?' or 'what's a good way to say this', 'what's a better way to say this?' So what happens in that really small pieces of the time I find myself practicing that today. So that was remarkable.
I've thoroughly enjoyed my first session in the Empathy Circles. My background has
been to do with presentations and dealing with groups of people and that kind of thing. I know a fair few modalities that are used in order to get people to listen. This is a very interesting development and one that I like, because this really does give the lay person an opportunity to have their voice heard in a safe environment. A non-judgmental environment and that's essential for people to start talking about their issues and hopefully, in the future, bring up what their own solutions for our way forward in the future.
"So I think it's a very important first step in building a safe community where we can talk to each other and get our point of view forward."
― Chris Johnson Fareham
So I think it's a very important first step in building a safe community where we can talk to each other and get our point of view forward. There is obviously going to be developments of this maybe other levels that we can take the Empathy Circles to, but I think as a starting off point for the layperson it's a very good idea to exercise
empathy circles.
It's an easy process to learn as well, which is something that might put people off, but it's very easy to learn how to do. It's tricky on the first time maybe, but pretty easy.
"It's an easy process to learn as well, which is something that might put people off, but it's very easy to learn how to do. It's tricky on the first time maybe, but pretty easy."
― Chris Johnson Fareham
This is my second time in an Empathy Circle. I'm finding it really useful, the deep listening and being heard by other people in such a clear way, is really, really helpful and also to practice my own skills of listening. It is slightly fearful at the beginning, but you soon settle into it. It's a skill to be learnt and developed and I don't think you can get enough of that.
I'm looking forward to learning more and practicing more in the future. I think it's a core skill that can run through all the different practices that we're going to be embarking on in the future
"This is my second time in an Empathy Circle. I'm finding it really useful, the deep listening and being heard by other people in such a clear way, is really, really helpful and also to practice my own skills of listening."
― Peter Anderson
"It is slightly fearful at the beginning, but you soon settle into it.It's a skill to be learnt and developed and I don't think you can get enough of that."
― Peter Anderson
What was emphasized for me today is the safety that's created in the Empathy Circle. Even people who feel somewhat nervous about the process or have performance anxiety, they're quickly accepted. The process allows them to kind of lose that sort of fear and then really feel heard.
"What was emphasized for me today is the safety that's created in the Empathy Circle. Even people who feel somewhat nervous about the process or have performance anxiety, they're quickly accepted. The process allows them to kind of lose that sort of fear and then really feel heard."
― Bill Filler
In many Empathy Circles, when I have to make an effort, I feel like I'm practicing a sort of gymnastic of my brain. Especially when I am tired and I have to mobilize myself to work. I feel it's not just training my brain, it's also kind of developing curiosity. I'm practicing and training curiosity, because to really hear another person, I need to be curious of what this person is saying. To hang up my view and focus on what this person is saying, and kind of being curious. To really embrace what this person is saying. So, I feel like I'm training my curiosity.
"I'm practicing and training curiosity, because to really hear another person, I need to be curious of what this person is saying. To hang up my view and focus on what this person is saying, and kind of being curious."
― Karolina Kubiak
For me the Empathy Circle is about being in relationship. We are in a small group and there's four, five or six of us and we're really building a relationship. Just the simple practice of mutual empathic listening, reflective listening, and focusing on one person, giving them the full attention, and being able to empathically reflect what they're saying and doing it mutually. It's just not one way, but it's mutual and everyone's listening to everyone else.
We're building the culture of empathy that we want right here, where everyone has a voice, everyone feels fully heard and understood to their satisfaction. As we get deeper and deeper into our experience, we speak more empathically, we become more sensitive to how to speak in a way that the other person can hear us.
Also, it's not just being a good listener, you also get better at being a good speaker because you get more sensitive to the struggles that people have hearing and reflecting, so you learn to simplify your dialogue. You kind of learn how to be a better empathic speaker, as well as, a listener and over time we develop a deeper and deeper understanding.
There's sort of a feeling, a ease, a kind of a spaciousness, that happens in the circle for me. I really enjoy that quality, that empathic intimacy that happens. It also creates a sense of trust that slowly, we're able to open up and share more and more of our truths, more honestly, more openly. That's a longer-term process.
Those are just a few of the qualities that I really enjoy and value of the Empathy Circle.
"For me the Empathy Circle is about being in relationship. We are in a small group and there's four, five or six of us and we're really building a relationship together."
― Edwin Rutsch
"We're building the culture of empathy that we want right here, where everyone has a voice, everyone feels fully heard and understood to their satisfaction. As we get deeper and deeper into our experience, we speak more empathically, we become more sensitive to how to speak in a way that the other person can hear us."
― Edwin Rutsch
"There's sort of a feeling, a ease, a kind of a spaciousness, that happens in the circle for me. I really enjoy that quality, that empathic intimacy that happens."
― Edwin Rutsch
What I like a lot about Empathy Circles. What I like most, is that I feel much better after I did an Empathy Circle. It really is very effective on me. It has a therapeutic effect.
What I like is the five minutes time to speak per turn gives us just enough time to go into the emotion, but not too deep. So you don't have time to really get too deep into things and maybe, sometimes a little more unstable for some people who are more fragile. So I like that five minutes speaking rule.
I find it very interesting the practice of active listening. I'm a psychiatrist, but even as a psychiatrist, I noticed we often think about our interpretation of what the person is saying instead of really thinking of what is the person really wanting to say. So it is actually polluting our thinking and I find it really lies and even easier, nicer for the other one and easier for us to just listen, and just try to summarize as a first very important step. So these are things I really like
"What I like most, is that I feel much better after I did an Empathy Circle. It really is very effective on me. It has a therapeutic effect."
― Séverine Cesalli
What I do very much like about the Empathy Circle is the appreciation of everything. I think that's something that Bill also meant. What I noticed and what was really important for me to learn today was how differently we all can understand each other words. It is also different when we are not native speaker, so then there's another added challenge on it, but even if you're native speakers it can be quite different how we understand the words of other people. Today it was really, really great to see how differently each of you expressed the words as an assumption of what the other person tried to say before that. So this is something I really, really enjoyed today.
"What I noticed and what was really important for me to learn today was how differently we all can understand each other words."
― Björn Michael
What I like about the Empathy Circle is that I get to hear, I get to witness a conversation that I'm not in. By witnessing, I just listen because I don't have the pressure of maybe reflecting, so that's listening to people talking and processing in my mind is a big experience to carry in my personal life. I think that is a good way to practice because I witness. At the same time while witnessing, I like puzzling in my mind, what would I say, how would I reflect that? The fact that I'm getting there makes me hopeful that I am almost in the Empathy Circle.
I like the fact that my agenda here is not to continue the idea, just stay while I'm listening. I don't have to bring more opinion to the table. That's a big relief for me. My only agenda is to really listen, to really be there and to really reflect that back. As an ADHD coach, I would just assume like that would be easier, but I feel like practicing is helping and again that's a good experience to carry in one's life. I wish I could do that more, I wish all the people that I know could do that more, so my life would be easier.
"What I like about the Empathy Circle is that I get to hear, I get to witness a conversation that I'm not in."
― Eva Ellis
The metaphor that I have of the Empathy Circle, is like singing in a choir. If you sing in a choir you tune into each other and you get this overtone. What I experience here, is we tune into each other. Even if we speak after each other, there is something like an overtone or there is something that goes over all the voices so to say. That's what I find magic in a way by tuning in.
Also this structure that you first listen and kind of in a way you take in by that even more intense what the other is saying and then you speak out. Although we are not singing, there is some kind of overtone voice. Something that's coming out over and over everything. That is what I like.
"The metaphor that I have of the Empathy Circle, is like singing in a choir. If you sing in a choir you tune into each other and you get this overtone."
― Richard Schut
The Empathy Circle hits the sweet spot for me. It has enough structure, but it also flexible enough at the same time, that's very important.
The other part is just how it's not just all dependent upon the Empathy Circle practice but the dedication, that especially people whose language is not English as a first language. I appreciate new people coming in and being willing to go through that learning curve, which may feel a little uncomfortable. I think that's real heroism and I really appreciate it .
"The Empathy Circle hits the sweet spot for me. It has enough structure, but it also is flexible enough at the same time, that's very important."
― William Filler
What I like about Empathy Circles? I like when the topic we choose is kind of circulating among us, and every person adds something new to the topic, to the issue. Sometimes there are contradictions, but somehow even if we have contradicting opinions, it grows and is changing. I see myself changing my mind and kind of developing a more comprehensive vision of the topic. I love it. I love the process.
I'm talking actually about very intellectual Empathy Circles, however sometimes we have a very emotional Empathy Circle. We also discover new emotions, new feelings that we didn't realize, and suddenly we realize and it's growing and growing. During the whole two hours I discover more and more just by circulating among us the ideas and the feelings. I love this growing effect of Empathy Circles.
"What I like about Empathy Circles? I like when the topic we choose is kind of circulating among us, and every person adds something new to the topic, to the issue."
― Karolina Kubiak
We have this Empathy Tent that we take out in sometimes very stressful situations. We start off by holding an Empathy Circle with the team when we first set up our tent. I find taking part in an Empathy Circle, to be very grounding for potentially stressful environments. I think it's that quality of being heard and listening to others in an Empathy Circle that I find is very grounding. Also, after a very tense situation to have an Empathy Circle and to be heard, and to hear others, I also find it very grounding.
I think it's that grounding, relaxing quality of the Empathy Circle that I really appreciate and especially in preparation for tense situations. Before doing a conflict mediation, I like having an Empathy Circle to be heard and then a debrief afterwards. Again it is that grounding quality of empathic listening that's one of the big benefits for me.
― Edwin Rutsch
"It's that grounding, relaxing quality of the Empathy Circle that I really appreciate and especially in preparation for tense situations."
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Bill Filler
I really like the practice and getting to know people. Especially I am monolingual and so I just want to express my appreciation for people who have English as a second language and are coming out and reaching out. I feel enriched because you did that.
I like the format I love the format I think it's effective but I also like what each individual brings to the format that makes it unique.
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― David Baum
I really enjoyed learning a new procedure. I think the specificity of how it runs is an advantage. This is the first time I've ever experienced it so I look forward to learning more and it's great to meet new folks.
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Edwin Rutsch
One thing in the empathy circle that I like is that I don't have to compete to be heard. That relaxes me. I know I'm gonna have my time to speak. In groups, I'm really bad in finding the space, or the gap to speak into a group. Here, I know I have my time to be heard and that feels good.
I also enjoy the feeling of enrichment. I feel like my world is expanded and enriched, especially when there are new people in the circle. I get this deeper sort of expanded field of feelings and thoughts. It expands my world. So I really appreciate that.
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Karolina Kubiak
I like the moments when somebody surprises me with new ideas that never came to me, to my mind. I love that moment. It's kind of an aha moment. An aha moment triggered by other people. I like this moment.
I like to meet people from all over the globe and suddenly to get familiar with them. We know each other for a very short time, but I know something about them and they know something about me. This is a warm feeling.
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Lou Zweier
I always enjoy meeting new people and I met several new people in this circle. By meeting them I don't mean just superficially but when people are taking time to talk about things that are important to them, what matters to them, you get to know them at a deeper level or you begin to do that. We didn't have enough rounds in our circle to get really deep, but I did begin to really understand people and like what was important to them and that feels connecting to me. I enjoy connecting with people that way.
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Marta Neto
This method is amazing. One thing that was triggered for myself is, how can I sustain myself to become a facilitator. There seems to be a need for it.
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Sofia Bayo
What I like about the empathy circles? I like a lot! I'm exploring the depths that you can go into in the empathy circles. I think in the beginning, when you start doing them, it's somewhat shallow. I'm rarely nervous when I go into these empathy circles nowadays. I just feel very relaxed and then you can explore deeper layers. I just enjoy everything about the these circles .
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Alcides Barbosa
I like very much this sort of rigid rule, it lets everybody speak very easily. The turns go from one person to another. It's something that is difficult when you do not have this clear rules. There is sort of disputes for the word. I like this, it makes it easy for the people who are more shy.
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Stephen Buckley
It sounds like we all appreciate a structure, a protocol, rather than the kitchen table, where everybody's talking at the same time, that we're all used to, or at least we were brought up in many cases that way. Everybody talking nobody listening and how to get out of that. So the idea of empathic listening, active listening is a step in the right direction. If we can explain it to other people in an easy facilitated way, then that would be a good thing.
What I Like about Empathy Circles ― Mary
I very much enjoy practicing, because it's not familiar to listen. In our Santa Fe group, everyone has ideas. Many, many ideas. But to listen, is a skill that's essential in our future and now. So I appreciate practicing with all of you!
― Mary
I very much enjoy practicing, because it's not familiar to listen. In our Santa Fe group, everyone has ideas. Many, many ideas. But to listen, is a skill that's essential in our future and now. So I appreciate practicing with all of you!
What I Like about Empathy Circles - Sally
This has been a great learning experience, even though I participated in this before. I think that the method and its structure allows listening and a higher capability.
―Sally
"There are many ways we can hold sharing or empathy circles, and many names we can give them. Some require a particular kind of training. What's great about this one, is that it doesn't!"
Hi... Just listened to Marta's piece here and maybe this point comes up later on in the call...its one that is on my mind.
For me I think it's really important to emphasis the beauty and simplicity of this particular kind of empathy circle, process. There are many ways we can hold sharing or empathy circles, and many names we can give them. Some require a particular kind of training. What's great about this one, is that it doesn't!
There is little doubt that the support offered to each other by the facilitators is invaluable and no doubt things come up from time to time, as with everything else. At the last xri regen call quite a few people were slow to want to facilitate because they said they don't have the training and had the understanding that some form of training needed to be undertaken.
My understanding is that the training for this method is attending an empathy circle. Is that right? And that what we need is a peer support group for facilitators? Id also like to keep empathy circles going in Ireland and feel people need encouragement and confidence.
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